writing

A Pinterest Life

A Pinterest Life

My new favorite thing to do at night is Pinterest. I should be writing, completing a novel that’s got me stymied in its 4th year of editing. I was just getting used to Instagram and Facebook before being invited to Pinterest. Imagine that, being invited to join a website! I thought I was special, until I heard that’s how Pinterest calks attention to itself. Savvy media, huh? Facebook, in my opinion, gets me in more trouble than I’d like to admit. The main thing I like about Pinterest is you don’t have to friend anyone or write something pithy when you pin. I also like to occasionally submit a photo I’ve taken that turned out well. A tennis court submerged in fog. My dog hang tenning at the beach. There’s been talk that Pinteresters should be paid for their submissions. That has not happened. Besides, the competition would be fierce. Pinterest hurts no one. It’s simple eye candy. But the more I use it, the more I’m hooked. I simply use the magnifying glass to search for anything I want to see, laugh at, or buy. It’s better than Google.

For those who have not heard about Pinterest, it’s an invitation only website full of beautiful pictures in many categories. It was created in 2010 by two men by the names of Evan Sharpe and Ben Silbermann, because “text is so last year.” Originally only members of their families were invited to join. By 2012, people savvy with social media were pinning all the time. You create your own bulletin board, and virtually pin pictures you want by your own categories. My niece is planning her wedding from the Wedding site. I must be doing something right, because I have 100s of followers who share what I’ve pinned. Pinterest has changed its format twice since I joined. Currently, their categories are Everything, Womens Fashion, Men’s Fashion, Travel, Music, Books and Television, Celebrities, Automobiles, Weddings, Quotes, and so on.

If I led a Pinterest life, everything would be perfect. I’d have a perfect body with all the right curves, 0% fat, perfect hair that’d curl when I wanted curl, turn blonde, or plait very neatly into a French braid. I’d be a size 36 C cup and use my breasts to get my way. Talk cops out of giving me tickets, or flirt at parties, train all male eyes on me. I’d have lips with just enough plump for a lingering kiss at night. Not snake lips, barely discernible without purple toned lip gloss. No overdone plastic surgery lips that scream “Fake!” when you see them. I’d not need glasses for sure, instead wearing sunglasses made by Ray Ban in a sort of squarish tortoise shell blend. I’d have fingernails, all the same length, painted whatever sheen that’s hot this week. My toes would always match, my heels would be smooth to touch, and my skin would wear a tennis glow without the risk of Cancer. Year round.

My Style is skinny jeans, black or bright red, straight leg, size zip, with a silky style cropped top or boho or tight tee to enhance my bust. I’d wear skirts from Anthropologie or Madewell to match all my short sleeved polo shirts from the Gap or Lilly or Tommy Bahama. Or, running tights with designs no one else has because I have perfect legs, inherited from my mother, meant to be admired. I’d wear footless tights with a man climbing up my shin, or pink polka dots against a navy blue background and a denim shirt or ruched Athleta sweatshirt. I’d be able to wear high, high heels with my jeans because in a Pinterest world no one suffers from Plantar Fasciitis, arthritis, heel Spurs or bunions. But even so, I’d prefer flats, designer flats in every color, and Hurachis, or peep toe shoes with a French heel, or plain old ankle high Sundance leather boots. I’d change my rings depending on my mood, but I would not go overboard with knuckle rings or eye sized stones because I am a distinguished woman, and not given to tacky. My bracelets would switch from woven with gold clasps to gold cuffs to slinky ones from wrist to elbow. I’d wear dangly earrings all the time, and never lose a favorite pair. There’d be pearls at my neck, always pearls, or a claspless gold necklace, one of a kind, that I’ve owned for years. I’d go back to wearing hats, straw ones with different colored grosgrain ribbons, the brim pulled down eyebrow level, and from behind my Ray Bans, I’d discreetly stare at everyone to compare and contrast. Looking people over is great for a writer’s imagination. You’d gasp if you heard what I thought of some things!

My Favorite Products include a Defender jeep dating back to the 70s in dusted and dented Army green with the extra tire on the hood of the car. I’d have a ladder climbing up the back in case you wanted to tailgate on the roof, and when my jeep got dirty from driving rescue dogs all over town, all I’d have to do is hose down the inside and let it dry out in the sun. There’d be canvas roll down shades on the side windows, and a stick shift with a grinding noise from misuse by people who can’t drive stick shift. I’d have an ever present Turvis cup to hold my Coke Zero, filled with ice, or a strong iced tea made with Backporch tea bags, fresh mint, fresh lemon quarters, two Sweet n’ Lows, and again, plenty of ice. Finally I’d have a 5S iPhone with a Defender case in red. I’d also have a device attached to my rear mirror that would help me when backing out of parking spots, and another to assist me in finding my lost phone. Most of the time I’d carry a Michael Kors shoulder bag in leather in every color except beige. Beige does not become blondes.

My Favorite Places and Spaces are the leather couch in my den covered by an electric throw with a dog in my lap, any tennis court, or Nantucket, where my heart and soul are in every grain of sand, and every spray of sea. This is where I’d buy my beach cottage with two porches, one fully screened, the other not, and have white washed wooden floors, batten board walls, a galley kitchen (who wants to live at the beach and spend their time cooking?), cushioned window seat for reading or napping, a widow’s walk, exactly two bedrooms and a comfortable sleep sofa, an outdoor shower, charcoal grill, and Claire Murray scatter rugs hooked by me. We’d be ocean view set back from the beach so during the next Nor’Easter our house would not disappear in a six foot wave.

Books Worth Reading are the ones I wrote, and the third I didn’t finish: Imperfections, Truth Is, and tentatively As You Were. Also, “A Dog’s Purpose” that explains why humans were so lucky to have dogs in their lives, anything by Marian Keyes, Maeve Binchy, Elizabeth Jane Howard, Harper Lee, “A Catcher in the Rye”, Raold Dahl, and Beverly Cleary. For the sake of space, I’ll stop here because there is seldom a book I read that I don’t like.

Places I’d Like to Go are the Turks and Caicos, which will most likely fall under Things I want but Will Never Have, Nantucket, Lewes, Delaware, Bar Harbor, Santa Ana Maria, Florida, Texas, Hawaii, the Cotswolds in England, the Maldives, and Prague. But always in the end, I’d like to go home, because that is where my heart is. I was not meant to be a wanderer, sailing an endless sea, or Route 66.

For the Home I’d have a hard time deciding between an all glass house surrounded by bamboo and wooden boardwalks, or what we had for 13 lovely years, a fixer upper shingle cottage where redid a room a year. I’d want a kitchen with lots of multi paned windows and a black rubber floor, an Aga stove, stainless steel appliances, red cabinets with black knobs, and imperfect black slate countertops. I’d have backlighting in a few cabinets with glass fronts, and a large island with seats all around, a double sink, and a wine fridge underneath. Leashes, needlepointed by me, would hang by the back door. I’d have 4 English Springer Spaniels named Angus, Fergus, Hamish and Ready. There’d be a mud room with a wash up sink in a pretty porcelain design. We’d have a large indoor wood burning fireplace in both the living room and den to heat the entire first floor, and a wooden mantle that would match the bookcases flanking the fireplace in both rooms. Our windows would have Southern insulated inside shutters, and the master bath would have a shower surrounded by tile and seaglass. Antique Oriental rugs would cover random width pine floors.

Neighborhood Finds would include things to take pictures of like a hedgehog crossing a road, a bright blue sky following a blizzard, a clay tennis court for anyone to use, a lost dog waiting to be rescued, a park where my dog and I run, unusual plantings in someone’s yard, a new bistro with the best burgers ever, a place that sells nothing but salads, a cupcake shop with every flavor you ever wanted to taste. Think Sea Salt Caramel. Think Cinnamon icing with Mocha cake. Think Creme de Menthe. Think Gingersnap with vanilla icing.

Things For My Wall include Hollywood stars I secretly admire – and if you ever find out who they are, I’ll deny to like them until the day I die.

Patriotism. I began Patriotism for my third book as research for the character of a USMC officer. It’s inspiring. It includes different paintings and materials used to make a pallet flag, photos of platoons in action in training, officers dressed in crisp dress blues, returned vets with missing limbs attempting to ski, quotes and poems written for and by military survivors.

Daily Quotes are signs or posters that I use to humor myself, little self deprecating topics that will make others laugh in a lull in conversation. Take “You’d lose your mind trying to understand me,” and “Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree, that makes it a plant, chocolate is salad.”

YUM! Is all things food. I’ve been a Foodie all my life, I just didn’t realize it until I found the Food board. Where else can you look but not touch, and not gain a single ounce? Uh, huh. Salads with nuts, asparagus, berries, cukes, flatbread crackers, and hard boiled eggs covered with Panera’s Asian dressing, chocolate, granola, Waldorf salad, real southern bbq, Mimosas, Rice Krispies treats, shortbread cookies, half plain, the other half painted in dark chocolate, a hunk of Brie melted on a croissant with a dollop of raspberry jam on top, ice cream sundaes with real whipped cream, Slow cooked lasagne, Salted Caramel Vodka Hot Chocolate, Oven baked Zucchini fries, hot coffee with tequila and chocolate, Slow Cooked Rosemary Olive oil bread, Chocolate Mousse Parfaits, 5 Minute Frozen Strawberry Yogurt Mousse, and Herbed Egg Bake. Oh my!

Things That I Love But Will Never Have are a glass house, more money than I know what to do with, a window seat to read books in, a screened porch with a wooden door that slams shut, a cupcake for every day of the week, a Defender from the 70s that is dented and dinged painted dusty Army green, 3 more dogs at the same time, size 36 C breasts, another wedding dress for renewing my vows, grandchildren before I’m too old to enjoy them, one more published book by me, and 38 years of marriage to do over without mistakes.

I’ve Been There is true. Starting at age 15 I’ve traveled the world. Whether it was to see a friend in Champaign, IL, or have lunch with my son in New York, visit him at University of Edinburgh, ride along the Amazon while naked natives beat dirty laundry against rocks, eating lard based meals in Dubrovnik, flying in a seatless plane to see the Mayan ruins, sitting in the sand of Cancun before it was developed into a fabulous resort, visiting a mosque in Istanbul, there are NOT too many places I crave to visit – except for Turks and Caicos or the Maldives.

Music. To me, Music isn’t music until “you feel the bass pounding in your chest.” I like alternative, classical, Dave Matthews and John Mayer, Pete Yorn, old time rappers Naughty by Nature, Justin Timberlake, and Enya, because her music calms my dog. Who would have thought Enya could lull a hyper active dog to sleep? But she does! I like my music loud when I’m writing a dramatic scene, and calm and quiet when I’m thinking. I love Pandora and Mixxen and discovered E.S. Posthumous there, as well as a feed of music that is solely drums, jazz with plenty of bass, and Marvin Gaye. In the car, it’s been said, it’s highly therapeutic to jack up your sound system and sing at the top of your lungs. Pandora doesn’t fault you for being off-key.

WOW is hard to describe. It’s a tree carved into a woman to represent how strong we stand, how we embrace the world. Wow is a flower encased in ice during an ice storm in Texas. Wow are Jamie Lee Curtis and Robin Wright due to their flawless figures and attractive short hair. Wow is a tower in Taiwan made of light. Wow is a staircase in the Bristol Palace Hotel in Genoa, Italy. And, least not not last, Wow to Khalil Chistee who created an exhibit of life size people made entirely out of plastic bags.

Unlike my books, Pinterest is a bulletin board of nonfiction picture stories of where people have been, what they’ve liked most, meals they’ve consumed, dogs they love, jokes to share, tennis skirts one can’t live without, Hollywood stars who invade your dreams, and endless products you’d love to own. A Pinterest life is a joke to some, a quest for others, and to me, a delicious plot that never ends.

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